Becoming Burnham
A blended family, big feelings, mental health days, and grief that shows up uninvited. Becoming Burnham is messy, honest, healing, and very us.
Becoming Burnham
29 - Back to School and Barely Ready
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Back to school season is here, and Kristina and Kat are diving into all of it this episode. From the supply list scramble and questionable shopping trips, to the nerves of finding out who the teacher is, to trying to wrangle everyone back onto a bedtime schedule after a summer that had absolutely none, they're covering the stuff every parent is living through right now. It's not just about the logistics either, they get into how it actually feels watching another school year kick off, the excitement mixed with the little bit of grief that summer's over. If you're in the thick of it too, this one's for you. Grab your coffee and come laugh through the chaos with us.
Friends, welcome back to Becoming Burnham. Is it just me or does back to school arrive a little early every year?
SPEAKER_01I think it does, although I am beyond ready to be. You're barely hanging on this time.
SPEAKER_00I am. I'm like, how many more days I can do this? I know. Davian said to me the other day, he was like, How is it possible that we're about to go back to school? It feels like we just got out. I'm like, does it? But I mean it does for me a little bit because and you too. We work all summer long. So I get the feeling that it can feel like it's coming on earlier and that we haven't fully integrated into summer yet, and now we're trying to pull ourselves back out and get going for the school year. But yeah, you've been surrounded nonstop.
SPEAKER_01There's always somebody here all the time. And trying to work from home when you have so many people that constantly want something, need something, want to say something, and I've just noise.
SPEAKER_00And I'm like, can I just work?
SPEAKER_01Like, please. Anybody? Anyone let me work? It'd be great.
SPEAKER_00Honestly, you're not wrong. It feels like we barely settled in and now we're we're just back to shifting gears once again. It even seems like just yesterday that we were doing our end of year episode, you know, and we were talking about the slow days of summer and vacuum things. So today we're talking about the reality of back to school season, what we're excited about, and how we're helping our families get ready for a new year. Kat, what is your back to school shopping style? Are you a one and done kind of person? Do you go to three stores and a trip to the mall to finally get everything you're looking for?
SPEAKER_01I'm sure no surprise at all. Efficient as possible. We do have a trip to the mall. Pretty much anything that I can't find at the mall, our last stop is Target. I cannot believe how cleared out it is already.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01So it's tax-free weekend. Yep. And I have want nothing to do with that. Yeah. Absolutely nothing to do with that. Because it is crazy. Like if you live in Clarksville, Tennessee, you know how insane it gets on Wilma for tax free weekend. So generally speaking, I won't choose to shop on tax-free weekend just because I don't want to deal with the crowds. This year, with Kyle being home, it was a little bit easier to say, like, hey, we can knock this out on a Friday. Yep. And so we went like pretty much as soon as the mall opened on Friday and we got everything done by like noon. Nice. And just between 10 and noon, it was already like slam.
SPEAKER_00Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. And things were picked through. And sometimes there's like just stuff all over the floor, too. Like people are knocking it off the hangers and nobody, there's not enough time to come and clean up after each rush of people. It's just messy and padded, and the lines are insane, and there's two people checking you out.
SPEAKER_01And well, even at Target when we did like, you know, like your crayons and your scissors and your colored pencils and all that stuff. So like that section was so crazy. Like Kyle couldn't even push the grocery cart through that section. Wow. So he was like, I'm gonna go stand over here with the cart. And then me and the kids, it was like they would come to me and I'd be like, okay, you go find crayons, you go find, you know, markers, and then like I'll go get this. And then we'd come back to the cart and then I'd give them assignments. It got done really fat way, but it was kind of funny because I was just free for all, find it.
SPEAKER_00Good luck. Well, what's your impression of the school supply list this year? I felt like Davian's was a little more dialed in, like a little, maybe even shorter, more intentional. Last year I feel like it was just out of control, but this year's list did not feel that overwhelming to me. What about you?
SPEAKER_01I felt the same way. Yeah. So normally I have to, I mean, like I walk Archer to school. I don't walk him to school every day because he wants to ride his scooter and hang out with his friends. So he doesn't want me around. But the first day of school, I walk him to school every day. But part of why I walk him to school is because I normally have to carry like half of the school supplies to bring them in. This is the first year that I can remember that everything's in his backpack. Yeah. So I don't have to bring, I mean, like I'll still walk them, but I don't have to carry anything in for him. And that is just like bizarre to me. Like when I fit it all in there, I was like, am I missing something?
SPEAKER_00I know. I don't know what it was that we normally have on there. I know sometimes it's like the folders and the spiral bound and the composition books and the pencil thing with crayons and scissors and blue and rulers and like all this stuff. Archer's teacher is getting a little gift basket from us with all sorts of fun things.
SPEAKER_01Um hopefully she I don't I don't think she listens to my podcast, but maybe she will.
SPEAKER_00Wait, you already know who his teacher is?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00How do you know? Did they tell you? I know who it is.
SPEAKER_01I think I know who it is. I might be that parent that says to the principal, this is who I want my child to be. And it was confirmed.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01What is he going into? Third.
SPEAKER_00I think I know who it might be.
SPEAKER_01I'm sure you do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01I didn't I didn't realize I wasn't putting my two that she thinks that I need to stop doing that. And I was like, no, I'm sorry, but no.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like I will do that until his last year of school if I can. If I know that there's a better teacher, yeah, I will absolutely fight really hard to make sure my kid gets into like the right classroom. Yeah. And that doesn't always mean, like, it's not always like the best teacher, but like the best fit. For him, yeah. And boys, especially, like you know this from being a teacher. Boys struggle in school more than girls and tend to have a harder time connecting with teachers than girls do. And so it's important that you find like the right teacher. And so when I find the right teacher, they I I mean I asked last year before the end of the year.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then like emailed again and was like, hey, just check it in. Making sure that this is happening. And she let she responded, I want to say it was last week and was like, yeah, it's all good. Everything's set. Yeah. Meet's ready.
SPEAKER_00I think it is good, especially when kids have traumatic experiences and things like that. There are people who are better positioned to navigate those kinds of sensitivities or triggers or different things. Not everybody is equipped to handle what your kid brings. No, no.
SPEAKER_01And Archer, it's it's really tough because I think people see him and he's so happy and like he he seems so well adjusted, but school is particularly triggering for him. Because like that. It was reminders. Well, I mean, it was his kindergarten year. And so like it was such a big year for him, and Arlen locked him to his classroom every single day. And like his class was close to the lunchroom. And so, like, anytime Arlen or Archer were at lunch, he always popped out and said hello. He really checked up on Archer a lot. And I know that that experience he misses Arlen more during the school year than any other time of the year.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Backpacks and lunches or lunch boxes. Do you do those new every year or do you make you make them used last year? So okay. This is this is how I feel about it.
SPEAKER_01I think, and I said this yesterday, because I was like, Archer, you can get a new backpack. And Ella and Kyle were both like, why? He has three backpacks that are in good condition. And that is true, but I was just like, but it's not like a new year if you don't have a new backpack. And I think that that stems from like when I was younger. Okay. Did we begin?
SPEAKER_00I swear I feel the same way about that. Yeah, like you got a new backpack. I thought so. Yes. Until maybe like high school when we were buying a better LLB and or Jan Sport or whatever that just kind of lasted. I thought we did too.
SPEAKER_01You know, everything now. But no, I got a new backpack every single year. It was like your rite of passage. Yes. Like everything was new.
SPEAKER_00But maybe they were cheaper then because we talked, you know, before about prices of things and being different, but I feel the same way. Like, not Drayton, um, Durban, Draden, and Davy, and all are like, no, it's fine. I'll just use my backpack. It's fine. But what do you mean? That's your eighth grade backpack. To me, you have to have a new one. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So Archer is totally cool with you know being on my side with this one. So he got a new backpack and a new lunchbox. Nice. I don't love what he picked because it is literally white. It's a white backpack and a white lunchbox. And I'm like, this is gonna be great. So yes, so you have to have a new backpack. I'm sorry. I I I just I don't know why maybe we're just old school. Wasteful. I don't know. Oh, maybe it is wasteful.
SPEAKER_00Oh no. Maybe that is it. It's just a more of a generational thing. Archer liked it. He was very happy. He likes new things. He does like new things. So um, I guess this question is kind of not necessary anymore. I was wondering what it's like for you to find out who your kids' teachers are. Um, because you know, I like to log into the app and I'm like constantly scrolling, is it there yet? Is it there yet? Is it there yet? I guess it's different for you. Oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I don't think I'm trying to think if so the there is a reason for it though. A few years back, um I'm trying to remember what grade Arlen was in. I want to say it was second grade. He had a really not great experience with a teacher. And it was a thousand percent just like personalities. Like they just couldn't, because Arlen was a very brilliant student, very intelligent, very helpful, like all the things that a teacher would want unless he got bored. And when he got bored, he would get disruptive. And so, like, he had a lot of teachers who recognized how intelligent he was, and they would give him extra work or like extra assignments, or he'd have his own special projects that he got to work on. And like it kept him super entertained. Like he was more than happy to do those things. And I know like not all kids are like that. Like, not all kids are like, I worked really hard to finish my work and you're giving me more work.
SPEAKER_00But Arlen loves it. But that's where the different can come into play, too. That maybe they don't need to do all this other work because it's it's um redundant for that student. So let's do this instead. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so uh I I want to say it was second grade, halfway through second grade, he had to a different class. So he had Miss Summers for the first half, and that was phenomenal. She was great for him. And then they split her class in half and he went to a different teacher.
SPEAKER_00Was that one of those when they were like adding there were too many kids?
SPEAKER_01Well, it was like the year, I'm trying, I think it was the year after COVID. And so everybody, like I think not everybody started the beginning of the year. I think some parents were unsure if they were gonna put their kids in. Oh, and so like started, yeah, like they started with much smaller numbers than how it actually ended up like halfway through the school year. Um, so they had to add teachers, and so he ended up going into this other classroom. And this teacher was like, she expected, like when he finished his work, that he was to sit at his desk quietly and wait for other people to be done. And I understand like what she's getting at, like I totally do, but I'm like, he's a second grade boy, like, and you're not talking five, 10 minutes, you're talking 20 to 30 minutes sometimes, depending on the class subject. It's just not yeah reasonable. I think I've picked his teacher every year since. And so, of course, it was the same way with Archer. The only teacher I did not pick was his kindergarten teacher, and that was a mistake. And so I will just I'm like, nope, I'm never doing that again. Yeah, I will pick their teachers until somebody tells me I can't do that anymore.
SPEAKER_00Um, how do your kids react to finding out? Do they know as early as you do, or do you keep it behind racks? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I normally keep it a secret. So I don't think I don't think I've told Archer yet who his teacher is. I don't think I have. I'm pretty positive I haven't told him. Sam or Kyle might have let it spill, but I I don't think I've told him because I wanted it to be a surprise.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because that's like really cool. And the same thing, like last year he had Miss Summers. And it was the same thing because that was Arlen's teacher, and so I surprised him was like, this is gonna be your teacher. So I like to make it a little bit of a surprise. But he was anxious, yeah. I think I'd probably tell him.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Is he more excited or nervous?
SPEAKER_01Or does it seem no, he's excited, he's ready to see his friend. You know, he's got a little girlfriend and has had a little girlfriend for over a year now.
SPEAKER_00They like gift give for each other.
SPEAKER_01They yes, I don't even understand. He still hasn't even given her her present from Disney. Yeah. So he's like, I really can't wait to see her so that I can give her her present. And I'm like, okay. That's okay. Yeah, he's he's ready to be back at school. And I'm ready for him to be back at school. Yeah, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be a really great experience. Teacher night, open house. What's that experience like for you as a parent? Well, I definitely go. I know that some parents don't go, and I mean, sometimes I think it's kind of funny because like we've been at the same school for so long. I'm like, why do I keep going? Because we've this will be our seventh year. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna get lost or anything like that. You're not moving things around that much, but I still go because I want to see all the teachers, and then I always like to pop in some of our you know favorite teachers. And then I was I would I sent you a message and you didn't respond, but I was hoping that I could pop in and see you.
SPEAKER_00Oh yes, yes, I want you to. Okay. It looks like a bomb went off in there right now because I was like moving stuff over from one workspace to another since I'm making that transition. I I can't wait to see it.
SPEAKER_01I I was browsing maybe possibly last night, some pencil and bow things because I was trying to find a present for you. And I was like, I could, I was like, I need to see your classroom so I can like make sure I get the right thing. It's possible I've bought everything out there.
SPEAKER_00Like, you know how they like they have like the well, I don't have any for this school yet. I mean, like the first day you're talking about.
SPEAKER_01Like you're not gonna get like one made for yourself.
SPEAKER_00Like I thought about it. Um I do have like a I do have my first outfit picked out that's like a skirt and a a shirt, but I have been kind of scrolling and seeing little teacher shirts on different websites and stuff. Like I thought about doing a coyotes one. It's kind of like fun print and it has a little ribbon on it, or I don't know. I know they'll have a school shirt that they'll give to everybody, but it's you know, just a school shirt. It's not as personalized. No, no, no. I'm not talking about.
SPEAKER_01I want to like I'm like I I have in my what's that? The magic school bus. Oh, like Miss Frizzle? Yeah, she's like always like style. Oh, okay. No, too bad.
SPEAKER_00I don't have a universe dress that I'm gonna wear.
SPEAKER_01Do you wear earrings or anything like that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I do have pencil earrings that I'm gonna wear.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Okay. Just like what about like a bow in your hair?
SPEAKER_00I'm not really bow in my hair kind of person. Headband? Not really, not so much. Okay. I mean, I'm not opposed to it, but I'm not sure. I'm just trying to get ideas here, okay?
SPEAKER_01I just want to see, you know, what's what what what could I get away with? That's a yes.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I I think you can't go wrong with a t-shirt for sure. But in terms of like the classroom decor, I've already bought a giant easel suspended pencil. It's like just a giant pencil that we'll put outside the door. I don't know what else we're gonna do with it yet, but I couldn't resist. And then this little pencil welcome sign, and we have pencil bow borders, and um, Katie bought a pencil pillow that we're gonna put on one of the chairs, and I have like bow boxes that you can put scissors and dry erase markers and stuff in, and my computer pad, like the one that goes under the computer, has pencils on it. I mean, there's just so everywhere you look, it's like like vomited pencils and bows.
SPEAKER_01Is it cute? Yeah, I think all that matters. Yeah, like I I think I'm really excited for you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I am too.
SPEAKER_01Like watching you kind of like transition into this role has been really fun.
SPEAKER_00I love I love be the idea of being back in an elementary school with the kids and you know, close to where the work is happening, and I'm really excited about that.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Yes. So, how are you feeling about the school you're starting then? I know you're I know you're definitely excited to get the people out of the house. Yep. What grades are we going into?
SPEAKER_01So Archer's going into third, and then Ella is homeschooled right now. So she really hasn't had like a break. Like she's taken a couple weeks off of school, but she's still been kind of like working on her classes here and there. We made an agreement she can go back into public school in January. So she's gonna stay homeschooled through the like the rest of the semester, and then she'll start like the new because I was like, I don't want you to start halfway through. Yeah. Because like, what if you know you've missed something or like it puts you behind, and then you have that kind of like that anxiety in the middle of the year of like, oh my god, I'm failing or I'm behind. I was like, that's not a good start. Yeah. So like let's do January clean start. So she'll she'll finish though. I I'm kind of curious how many classes she's gonna get done because like technically starting now, she's already into like her junior credits.
SPEAKER_00How does all that transfer for like graduation requirements for this school system? Do you have to do a comparison or something?
SPEAKER_01So when we because she had used the same program in eighth grade before going into her freshman year, when we transferred everything, there were like two or three classes that she had taken in her eighth grade year that were considered high school classes. Oh, nice. So she already had credits for high school when she walked in the doors. Yeah. Um, and so now she's just continued to build on that because she's she's so she's finished a whole year plus like another half a year, right, as of now. Um, and we still have half a year. Yeah. So she'll probably and she did that in half a year. So I'm like, she will probably be two and a half years basically ahead of where she needs to be. So I'm like, I think she's gonna get credit for all of them. Cause I mean, it's an it's an accredited school. So she should at the very least, I would think that it would be considered, you know, elective, maybe. Yeah. But my thought was I'll like get like the hard stuff done. Yeah. And then like the rest of your high school career can be doing some of like the college readiness or the career readiness classes to really see like what you want to do. Yeah. Kind of explore a little bit. Because one thing from Arizona to here that is very different. Cause when I went to high school in Arizona, we had so much like career readiness. Like we had a nursing program, we had an architecture program, we had a woodworking program, an auto program, a psychology and a business law program. Like we had all these different programs. And I think I took a class in every single one of those, at least one. Some of them I took more. And here, like it's not that they don't have stuff, but they just don't have as many.
SPEAKER_00Well, and it's school specific. They have those academies. Yeah. So some academies are not available here for these kids.
SPEAKER_01And then the other piece too is so, and I mean, have you have you done registration yet with Yeah? Okay. So you know, like when you went in, they already are asking you, what do you think you're gonna be doing? Yeah, like your junior year when you go into these academies, because you have to make sure you're taking the right classes to get there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so I was thinking with Ella, if we get all the hard stuff done, then if she decides halfway through the year, like that's not actually the path I want to take, she can pivot and has enough time to do so. Yes. Whereas, like, if she didn't have those extra credits, she wouldn't have enough time.
SPEAKER_00So Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. Let's see, what's different? Oh, this is a good question because I was thinking back to like when we went back to school when we were kids. What's different about back to school season now compared to when you were a kid? Like for me personally, yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_01Well, we were talking about this earlier. So, you know, we were a little broke when I was younger, and so we had a very limited amount of money for like back to school shopping. And the one thing I don't remember much from like when I was a kid, I don't remember needing nearly as many supplies.
SPEAKER_00No, and I don't remember lists, but I think it's just because I was oblivious. Maybe there were lists. But I just don't remember going back to school with like binders and you know, tons and tons of notebooks and paper and all- Yeah, I have no memory of like being loaded down trying to not at all get into the building.
SPEAKER_01I remember like having some stuff, and but like we were allowed to like pick, you know, like the folders that we wanted, it's like Lisa Frank. Like, I remember I remember all that. I'm like, oh, but like now it's like plain colors only, and you're like, oh no velcro. Yeah, I'm like, that's so boring. But I just don't remember anything outside of like the fun stuff. But like my mom, you know, she had to like sign off on everything that I got for school. And so I remember at a very young age, I was like, I wanted, and it was shorts. I specifically remember I wanted these particular shorts and they were shorter than my mom approved of. And I really, really wanted them. And she was like, No, they're too short. And I was like, How do I get these shorts? Because I want them. And she had told me, like, when you can pay for them yourself, you can get them. And I don't think, I don't think she thought that I was going to find a way to pay for them myself, but I did. And so after that, I actually did most of my school shopping myself every year. After that, um, I would go with a friend or something like that, and I'd have my own money and I'd buy my own stuff. Yeah. And that's how I did. And I don't think she always liked what I said.
SPEAKER_00But I did. Yeah. I can remember the days too when you know we didn't have all the technology that we have now, and you'd have to drive up to the school and all the lists post it outside, and you're like fighting, almost like waiting for your luggage at the airport, you know, and you're like, let me in, let me in. And then you're like calling people on a on a hardwired phone, who's your teacher?
SPEAKER_01Who's your teacher? Yes. Uh huh. I do remember that. And I remember like it's like if you've ever been like casted in a play, like that's it, like looking for your name.
SPEAKER_00Where am I? Yes. What about the first day of school picture? Are you a front porch posing kind of person? Are you getting a photo as they're running past you? How do you do those? Do you have signs?
SPEAKER_01So I don't do the signs. I've never, I think they're so cute. I love seeing it when people have them, but I've just never been that mom.
SPEAKER_00It's a lot of work.
SPEAKER_01It really is. I mean, it's the same thing like with the the babe, like, have you seen the like the mats that they do for babies with like the two mats? Yeah. And that is like that is just a brilliant idea. Like, that is so adorable. Yeah. I never did that. Yeah. I mean, I don't remember that being a thing. Yeah. I had babies, but like it is now, and I'm like, that is the smartest thing whoever decided to do that the first time. It's so smart. Same thing with the signs, but I just I don't know, I've never gotten behind them. But I do a post photo every year. Yeah. I normally do a lot of times trying to think. Like at the old house before this one got built, we had. Like a brick, you know, kind of like wall on our patio, and I always did it against that brick wall.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, in this house, like you know how next to my shoe thing, yeah, there's that blank wall. I always do it right there. Yeah. So I have I guess I have a spot, yeah. In each that to me, I'm like, oh, it's a nice background. But the the brick wall photos are really cute. Yeah. But I don't have that anymore.
SPEAKER_00So we do different spots. Like we have some where they're on the back porch. They always like when we're on the back, they always like the dogs to be in it with them. Because that's the easiest place to do a shoot with the dogs. And then we have a dogwood tree in our front yard that I just love. And so since we'll do some by the dogwood tree, and sometimes we'll do it in front of the garage because it's just that big white background, too. I don't have a lot of wall space in our house. It either has a piece of furniture in front of it or a picture on it.
SPEAKER_01Do you take pictures with Davian and Drayden together even though they are leaving at separate times now?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we still do one with them together. Usually it's as Draden is leaving. Okay. And then Davian will go out there and do it too. Yeah. And then we do the independent ones.
SPEAKER_01Because I do, I I just have never managed to like get them all together. Like after Ella went to middle school. That was like one thing that I struggled with. I was looking for a picture of the three of them on the first day of school the last year that I had all three. And I realized I didn't have one because I'd gone to school like earlier in the day.
SPEAKER_00Well, I know why it is, is because with the other job, Dorot and I both had to be at work at 7:30. So we were all up anyway and took Davy in at the same time Drayden went. So I was just sitting here thinking, I was like, you're right. What how am I able to work that out? But but this year we'll be different because he doesn't have to go to before school care.
SPEAKER_01So maybe he won't even be awake.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe I'll sleep in a little bit. You never know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You never know. I wonder, is Draden gonna walk with Ella when I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I don't know if they've even talked about that. I mean, they could. I'm sure they will. Yeah. I can't imagine they wouldn't. Yeah. I mean, he is, I'll say, he is a big scooter person. He likes to take a scooter to school. Oh, maybe maybe she can hop on the back and I can only imagine like the two of them.
SPEAKER_01Did you see him riding Archer's new scooter?
SPEAKER_00No. God, does he love it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like he was Archer, like told me he's like, I'm gonna go show Davey my new scooter. And I'm like, okay. And then all of a sudden he hears like draided, and he's like, the needs are like up to his ears. I was like, what are you doing? I was like, is that Archer's? He's like, yeah. He's like, it's fun. I was like, okay, he just looks so funny. He's so tall. Yeah, he is. It was ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00He is. That's funny. What about like getting back on schedule now? I know you're you're still relatively controlled during the summer. What's something that has worked well for your family this summer that you'll be glad to continue implementing into the school year, even? Do you have any new routines that you started this summer that you'll keep?
SPEAKER_01Probably, I'm probably gonna keep Archer with feeding the dogs in the morning. Because I think that that does really kind of like help the day, you know, like get started for me. Um, because otherwise it's like I I wake up because the dogs are barking because they want to get out. And like my dogs, they they don't want to go out, they're not barking to go outside, they're barking because you know, Regina is starving. Regina and she needs to be fed because like ever since she's been on a diet, she's like needs to eat every eight hours, or she's gonna probably die. She's gonna waste away because you know, she's not fat at all. And that's a chaotic way to start then. It really is. And so Archer will feed them or at least get the food ready. Yeah. So that way when I do let them out, even if I don't necessarily leave the room, like they can go about their business and go eat and then go outside. And you know, because we've got the doggy door now too. Yep. And so it just like makes life so much easier. So I'm probably gonna stick with that. Um, but you're right, I don't do, I don't go crazy during school yeah. Yeah, it's not a free ball. No, I don't. I there's still a bedtime and it's pretty much the same bedtime as it is during the school year. I don't really like stray too far from that. Sleep is the toughest thing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I learned that like really, really early on as like a mom. And I I think it's because like when I first had children, I already had step kids that were in school. Oh, yeah. And so having the stepkids in school, it was like, oh, like sleep really is just so important. And it's really, it's really easy to mess up your schedule and it's really hard to like catch up if you've like lost. Yeah. And so that's like the one area. I don't, I don't screw around with sleep. Yeah. Nope, absolutely not. So during the school year, Archer's bedtime is 7:30. But like it's not because people hear that and they're like, like 7:30. Like sometimes during the year it's not even dark yet at 7.30. We're eating dinner sometimes. But it's more of like this is your wind down time. So he is allowed to sit in his room and he can watch TV or read a book. That part, as long as he's in his bed, relaxing, and then at 8:30, everything's off. Yeah. And that's like his bedtime bedtime. Yeah. And so during the summer, I might allow, like, you can start window at 8 instead of 7:30. Yeah. That's it. Like, that's so generous. I'm such a jerk. I know. I'm sorry. Uh, you know, poor Archer.
SPEAKER_00What about your other well-established systems? What do you keep going, especially during the school year, in terms of backpacks, lunches, breakfasts? What kind of systems do you have in place for that that makes everything run like a well-oiled machine?
SPEAKER_01So, I mean, we do cleaning every Saturday. So all of your laundry has to be done on Saturday and put away. So that way you're ready for the week. Sunday is like shower day. Everybody showers on Sunday so that you, again, are ready for the new week. I used to be really anal about them like setting something out to wear the next day. But as they've gotten older and like they're more capable of like picking out an outfit, I don't harp on them too much about that, especially not like Ella. But Ella, she's generally like the day before she tries on her outfit to see how she feels. Yes. And if she needs to change it or something like that. She's Archer, especially he has to do all of his stuff in order to like watch TV or play the tablet or something like that. Because he does like to have, he loves to have like wind down time in the morning where he gets to watch cartoons or something like that. I I don't particularly understand it. Like Sam, like I've talked to her about like Archer was giving me a hard time, and you know, he wanted to watch cartoons this morning. She's like, Yeah, he has to watch cartoons every day for 20 minutes, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, this is stupid. I don't understand. But it's just him and his personality. So the rule here is he has to get everything done. He's got to be fully ready for school before he does any of that. And so it kind of lights a fire in his behind because he's like, I really want to watch TV. And he's tried it a few times where he's like tried to watch TV like while he's getting ready. It doesn't work. And it doesn't work. And then he gets caught every single time because I know exactly how long it takes him to get ready. Yeah. And so if it starts taking him 10, 15 minutes too long, I'm like, what are you doing down there? He's watching TV. So yeah, so this year his big goal is learning how to do his hair by himself. Because then he can fully get ready 100% by himself, because then that means he gets to watch TV quicker. Yes. Because the hair thing has tripped him up a little bit. Yep. Because tricky. Well, if he has to wait for me and I don't get out of bed, he's all ready to go to the city. He can't watch until you're out, even. Well, I mean, like I probably wouldn't care if he asked. Yeah, yeah. Like if that's the only thing that he has left to do. But in his mind, that's part of getting ready. It's part of getting ready, and he didn't do it. And so therefore he can't watch TV. He's just like out there waiting for me. And so are you up yet? Are you up yet? Yeah. Well, the other day I took a nap and he like stood over me. Oh who are you napping? Nope. Not anymore. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What's the hardest part of the back to school transition for you? Not just for the kids.
SPEAKER_01As much as I am generally ready for them to go back just to like have a little bit of quiet in the house again. I I do miss that. Yeah. And like the house gets like, I can only do, I don't know, a couple days of it being quiet before I'm like, oh, that's really cool. Where is everybody? I'm sad and lonely. And I like would love to see my children right now. Yeah. It's been a little bit easier just because Ella's at home with me too. But I mean, like, that time is coming. It's like TikToking away so fast. And I I'm like, I'm kind of sad to know that like pretty soon I'm not gonna have anybody at home with me.
SPEAKER_00Let's not go down that road.
SPEAKER_01That's too like I kind of don't want to do that.
SPEAKER_00I know. What about go-to morning breakfast, school morning breakfast? Is he is Archer mostly doing cereal in the morning, or do you have other things you do for that, like a more sustaining school breakfast? So I don't know if you recall.
SPEAKER_01I do not do you don't prepare. I do not prepare breakfast. That is not every child I have ever taken care of has had to learn how to make breakfast. Even on school days. Even on school days for themselves. Some of my children have been like more into that. Like Mason and Leilani, they are they were much more like they wanted to like cook.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I think they cooked more at their mom's house too. Whereas like Ella doesn't even eat breakfast, and then Arlen was more than happy to just eat cereal and have an entire gallon of milk. He's so weird. And Archer probably falls in like that same realm of like he's pretty happy to just have cereal. Yeah. But I do keep like protein waffles and things like that on hand. So like if he does want to do something different, he can, and it's available. Yogurt. And I don't mind them eating like uncrestables for breakfast. I think that that's actually a good like breakfast item. And they've all learned to instead of like thawing it, they put it in the toaster. Yeah. And I guess it's amazing. Yeah. I don't know. I've never eaten it like that.
SPEAKER_00I haven't either, but it does sound amazing to me. Like they all grilled peanut butter and jelly, basically.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. All of them. Even Kyle eats it like that. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00I've seen Draden and Davian do it sometimes, but I've never tried it either. What's one thing you're determined to do differently this year? It's tricky because I think you're already at maximum efficiency.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, I really don't know if I can do anything better. I mean, I'm sure I can, but like I can't think of anything. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I think maybe You've got more going on with after school, don't you?
SPEAKER_01Like I do. This will be like the first full year where you know, like we're in wrestling because we're in wrestling before school even starts.
SPEAKER_00And jujitsu and is there anything else besides? For a college prep class. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. So I mean it's still wrestling.
SPEAKER_00Still wrestling, but yeah.
SPEAKER_01A different class.
SPEAKER_00Just more days.
SPEAKER_01So we're in wrestling Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday right now, and then we'll add Thursday. Probably in September. I don't think we're gonna do it be before September. But then Ella's gonna be going to the high school team. And so that will be starting in, I think, October is when they'll be over there. And so I'm not really sure what that looks like for me.
SPEAKER_00Is she driving yet? Yeah. Isn't she old enough?
SPEAKER_01She's practicing.
SPEAKER_00Is she gonna get her learner's permit? That might be something you're changing this year.
SPEAKER_01I mean, yeah. I don't I don't think she's really that interested. No, like so she's been she's been learning with Kyle. Okay. She wants Kyle to teach her and not me, which I don't totally understand.
SPEAKER_00Well maybe she's really rude. She's I don't know. You know how sometimes with one parent you can be a little m edgier or more argumentative. Maybe she feels like she'll argue with you or something else.
SPEAKER_01Probably. She is a little bit more argumentative with you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So Kyle's been taking her and she's doing okay. Like, I mean, I every time he she's doing, she's improving every time. She still seems very nervous, and she's never the one to ask Kyle. Like she's never like, hey dad, can like we go driving? Yeah. It's normally him being like, Hey, do you want me to take you driving today? And she'll be like, Okay, it should go. But I don't think she's all that interested in getting her license. I think that'll be like driving and Clark's still like scared.
SPEAKER_00It is scary.
SPEAKER_01It is, and I don't know if I would, I don't know if I'd be okay with her driving, like very far at least. Yeah. I don't know. I really don't care.
SPEAKER_00So fast, and then all the traffic, too.
SPEAKER_01It's bad. It's really bad. I'm so glad that they put the light at the end.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, me too. That was just a disaster waiting for waiting to happen. And I know there have been multiple accidents because people nobody knows who's got the right of way, and then people get impatient, and then you've got the people who think they're being nice and they're like, go ahead, go ahead. But I hate that because it's like, no, you're breaking the system.
SPEAKER_01Like, but not only that, like, just because so it's two lanes. Yeah. So, like, just because you stop doesn't mean the other lane is gonna stop. People do that on Wilma too. And it's like, don't do that. Like, Ari, if you stop to let somebody turn, you are the problem. You are the problem.
SPEAKER_00They're not paying attention to what's coming in, and they're like, go, go, but then somebody's coming up 70 miles an hour. It's terrible.
SPEAKER_01So, but yes, that is that is uh something that we are experiencing right now, and that could become a thing. She does talk about taking Archer to wrestling practice, but I don't know if it'll actually like pan out into anything.
SPEAKER_00It seems like I don't know, it just seems so weird to have the two of them going.
SPEAKER_01I would like to be a little bit more involved in like classroom stuff. Like, you know, like sometimes parents will like volunteer or they'll go to like field trips. Yeah, I'm not that mom.
SPEAKER_00No, but now I'm like, well, like he's my last baby. And I'm telling you, like, there's nothing better than having a competent parent going on a field trip. Like it makes all the difference to those events, and and it's really special for them too, for the kids.
SPEAKER_01I didn't go on any field trips last year. Oh wow. And I think I only went on one the previous two years. Yeah. And so I'm like, maybe it's time that I get back. It was it was hard. Yeah. Uh like being out of the school in general. Because I used to eat lunch with them and do stuff like that like all the time. Yeah. And after Arlen passed away, I had I had a hard time like even going into the pickup line, you know, like that was hard, let alone like walking through the door. And I feel bad because Archer has kind of like stopped asking, you know, for me to like come and do stuff. But like now I I am feeling a little bit more capable of doing that. So I think maybe that's what I'll do this year. Try to, I mean, at least like eat lunch with them a couple of times a year.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that would be fun too. That's always special for kids. Well, then last back to school question. What's one thing you've learned about school routines that would have saved you a lot of stress if you'd known it way back when your kids first started going to school? Preparation.
SPEAKER_01Everything is like if you prep, it will go so much smoother.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01So like it is it's worth the time, it's worth the effort and the energy to do it beforehand.
SPEAKER_00The time, like you're not talking prep the night before necessarily, only you're talking weeks in advance, even. Sometimes.
SPEAKER_01Not always. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Not always. How far out do you start your prep?
SPEAKER_01So I mean, like, for back to school, for example, like we just did it on Friday. Okay, so about a week. Yeah, like a not even a full week ahead of schedule. Yeah. And although the way the school does it, with like you you have a half day on Wednesday, and then they don't report Thursday or Friday, and then they go back on Monday. Right. Just make it Monday. Like, but so you know, if you think about like that, I'm a little bit more than a week ahead. Yeah. But outside, I mean, like, I'm not doing anything crazy, but I do like at the end of the school year, I am thinking about like, okay, next year. So that's when I'm figuring out like teacher-wise, yeah. What are we gonna do? We also think about sports and those types of activities because like that really does matter. But now all of us are pretty like we're in wrestling and like that's what it's gonna be. And I don't, I think we're all kind of like in agreement, like there's not really any changing that at this point, at least not for Ella. Yeah, and even Archer, like he's tried other things and he hasn't liked anything like he likes wrestling. So it's like, what are you gonna do? Exactly. Yeah, it's just stick with it, it's a good fit, yeah. And so there's less prepping now than we used to have to do, but like I'm I am a big picture thinker, so it's like, okay, like what's gonna be like the next big thing that I have to decide for the following year, and just I guess tackle it one thing at a time is what I do. And the biggest, most important thing is the teacher. And so that's the first thing to tackle, and then kind of go from there.
SPEAKER_00Yes. One trick I learned for back to school shopping was look at the list for the next grade level too. And if there are some things that are kind of hard to find items, especially if you are one of those who likes to wait for tax-free weekend, um, look at that list now for next year, and then you could just grab a couple extras and you kind of have those already for the next year. That's really funny. Composition books sometimes can be tricky to find. And and I don't know how you feel about this. Think I'm a stickler for the pre-sharpened pencils, especially as a teacher. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I am too. Um, so when I see those boxes out and the smaller portions of them, not the 48-pack box, but like the 24-pack, I'll grab extras of those too. Not just for now and you know, later on in the year, but even for next year, because you can get them.
SPEAKER_01I normally do grab extra of the pencils because it always is something that like we run out of or something. And I do remember a couple of years ago I didn't, and there were no pre-sharpened pencils to all it was just shelves and shelves and shelves of the ones that weren't sharpened already. I was like, absolutely not. Like, this is not gonna work for me. Yeah. And so I I mean, I remember that year I had to order them online, and that was fine.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, but you probably pay double or prices ridiculous.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So, well, before we go, I wanted to ask you a question. Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_00What big milestones do you have this year? Well, we have a son going into ninth grade, so we've got the big high school transition. Yes, and he'll be he's on the heels of Ella, so he'll be 15 in November, and we'll start to explore, you know, the the driving experience with the I I can imagine he's much more excited about being able to do it.
SPEAKER_01For sure.
SPEAKER_00Yes, he's Ella's probably waiting for him. Probably so, because she's like, Can you take me?
SPEAKER_01I can't even imagine. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. So I don't know, it doesn't quite feel real yet. We have a there's like an orientation day for ninth graders coming up, and that's probably when it will start to feel more real. Right now, it just kind of feels like we're still, you know, navigating the middle school or something. I don't know. It doesn't, and I haven't seen his official schedule yet, so I know he's gonna have more like you know, big kid classes. And yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's so exciting.
SPEAKER_00It is exciting.
SPEAKER_01Um, I cried the orientation. Really? Yes. Um, I will tell you the principal, the the freshman, because they each um grade level has a different principal. So the freshman principal is phenomenal. Oh, good. She's really, really great and actually is the sister of my therapist. Really? Yeah. Oh wow. Identical twins. Oh my goodness. So it's really weird to like her because I'm like, Stephanie? That's not Stephanie. So she's really fabulous. Like, really, you can just like tell, you'll see, like at the orientation, she cares about the students. That's really beautiful to like hear her like talk about them. She's really passionate. Yeah. The first week, I think it's a full week, it might be two weeks. They give them like a little bit of leeway as they're learning to navigate their classes. I don't think I don't see Draden like getting lost like Ella is, but because Ella did. Oh, really? It took her like the full like week or two weeks, whatever.
SPEAKER_00You mean like leeway so they're not penalized for arriving.
SPEAKER_01Or even like go so they can like find the right route to take. Because there's one class that Ella just could not like, I don't know what it was, but she'd always like turn the wrong direction to get to this class. And so then she'd have to turn around and go back so she'd be late. And I just Draden is, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I see him be more, I don't know, or less directionally challenged. Maybe he can also be pretty oblivious to being just you know immersed in conversation and completely lose track of the fact that he's even going to a class. That's possible.
SPEAKER_01I could see that happening. But when it came to finding it, I feel like he could find it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, probably.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, it that's so exciting though.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_01Are you nervous?
SPEAKER_00That's weird. Yeah, a little bit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And he's with the back to school shopping and stuff. I think he's trying to find his his style and like he likes the look of baggy jeans. But for the last few years, we've been in just athletic wear, you know, sweatpants, shorts, t-shirts, I don't know if I've ever seen him in jeans. He he bought like three pairs the other day, and uh he wants he likes those that vintage t-shirt look too. So you know, and he has some ideas for what like shoes he wants and a little bit of fashion. Maybe a little bit. That's so cool. Yeah, normally it's just not a big deal, but this year he's like, can we do some back to school shopping? So yeah. I can't wait to see his picture of them in person.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00I don't know that we have the first day of school outfit yet, but I mean we have the bottoms. I don't know if we have the sh the top yet, but we'll see. We'll see what he comes up with. Okay. It's not something he ever wants help with. So before we go, let us know what back to school season looks like in your home. Are you counting down the days, soaking up every last minute of summer, or maybe doing a little bit of both? Whatever this season looks like for you, we hope you're not navigating it alone. Thanks for hanging out with us today. We appreciate getting to spend a little time together. Until next time, take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and keep becoming. We'll see you next time on Becoming Burnham.